


Good Enough

by hannah_baker



Category: Men's Hockey RPF
Genre: Hurt/Comfort, Jordie is a Coyote AU, M/M, Moving On, Relationship closure
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-23
Updated: 2018-10-23
Packaged: 2019-08-06 15:53:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,333
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16390682
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hannah_baker/pseuds/hannah_baker
Summary: The 2018 hockey season hasn't even started, and Dylan feels like he's already disappointed himself with another loss against Connor McDavid's team. He's not sure if he's good enough to make the show this year, but training camp did give him one good thing: Jordie Benn, freshly traded from the Habs. It feels like everything in his life is bad except for Jordie.





	Good Enough

**Author's Note:**

> Takes place after the 9/27/18 Coyotes at Oilers preseason game. 
> 
> Just imagine that Jordie came over in the trade between the Coyotes and the Habs, okay? I realize it doesn't really make any sense. I wrote this basically right after that game ended, but haven't posted it in a fit of "it's not good enough." Sometimes the things that I write so deeply 'just for me' are the hardest for me to put on the internet. So, IDK, here it is.

Dylan Strome was excited for the day he wouldn’t be disappointed in his experiences in the NHL. Today wasn’t that day. As he racked up another loss against his brother’s team, he couldn’t help but think about the weight on his shoulders of being drafted so high and still not making the show. 

 

It felt impossible to have come this far and to only barely have made the team. To have hopefully made the team. He didn't even know yet. 

 

“It’s just preseason,” Jordie said from the edge of one of the beds in Dylan’s hotel room. Technically, Dylan should have a rookie roommate but there was an odd number. He ended up with the long straw. It didn’t matter. If he’d had a roommate, he would have stayed with Jordie anyway. 

 

Dylan let out a sigh, leaned against the wall where the bathroom protruded into the rest of the room. “Preseason is really important for me.”

 

“I know babe. You played well. You looked good on the ice.” Jordie was shirtless and barefoot, just his sweats on as he watched Dylan pace. Dylan hadn’t been sure of what to expect from training camp, but Jordie Benn sure wasn’t it. 

 

“I’m just…” Dylan let it hang in the air, open to interpretation.  _ Frustrated, sick of it, embarrassed. _ It just sucked, and what sucked more was that everyone expected him to have such a good attitude about it. What sucked was that he  _ had _ to have a good attitude about it. At least in public. 

 

“I know,” Jordie said again, voice soft and kind. Jordie’s own path to the NHL was a long one, full of hard work. Jordie did know. “C’mere.” 

 

Dylan walked the three steps over to him, stood in front of him as Jordie took his hands. “You’re going to make it,” he said. Dylan didn’t know what about Jordie made Dylan trust him so much. If it was his voice, or the spread of his huge shoulders, or the way he was just fucking unshakable. 

 

Jordie tugged on his hands a little, and Dylan climbed into his lap, knees on the sides of Jordie’s hips, Jordie’s hands holding him in place at the waist. He dipped his head down to meet Jordie’s upturned face, pressed their lips together. 

 

He’d only known Jordie for weeks, but he could feel him in his bones. He had sense memories of Jordie from before they’d ever met. What they had felt eventual from the very first spark they felt when they met. 

 

Dylan kept kissing him, Jordie's body a comfort after a shitty night. It wasn’t too bad of a game. They made it into overtime. But Connor’s two goals loomed large over him, made him feel empty. It was easy to get lost in thought, self-loathing. 

 

Until Jordie’s hand slid up Dylan’s back, held him close so he could bite him on the collarbone, hard enough to get his attention, but soft enough not to leave a mark the next day. Dylan tuned back in. 

 

“You go missing there a bit?” Jordie asked. Jordie was so in tune with him it was insane. Dylan didn’t get it, but he appreciated it. He wasn't sure if a single other person on the entire planet had ever paid as close of attention to him as Jordie did. 

 

Dylan didn’t want to talk about it. Just bit his lip, then leaned back in to continue kissing Jordie. Jordie didn’t push, let him have his emotional space if he needed it. 

 

Jordie’s hands slid back down to Dylan’s waist, then scooped him up under the butt to pick him up. Dylan was heavy and he knew that, but Jordie was strong. He flipped them over onto the bed so Dylan was sprawled under him, a smile coming to Dylan’s lips for the first time since he saw his brother briefly earlier that day. Jordie kissed the corner of his smile, the happiness on his face obvious. Jordie was so easy to make happy. 

 

Then a knock thudded through the door to the hotel room and Dylan jumped. 

 

“Shit,” Dylan said. He was pretty sure he knew who it was. 

 

“I’ll get it,” Jordie volunteered, not even bothering to smooth down his hair from where Dylan had messed it up before going to answer the door. 

 

Dylan admired him from the back, the broad expanse of his shoulders, his heavily tattooed arms. The fact that he was going to answer Dylan’s hotel room door looking like that. Dylan just got a rush of fondness for him in his chest. 

 

“Oh, I thought this was Dylan’s room,” came a very familiar voice to Dylan. Connor was there. Dylan couldn’t decide to hide or face him. 

 

“It is,” Jordie said. “What do you need?” Jordie sounded friendly, but Dylan knew he could be fierce if he needed to be. 

 

“Just wanted to talk to Dyls,” Connor said. Dylan could practically picture him looking bashful. But in his mind whenever he pictured Connor, he was seventeen with huge teeth and bad skin. 

 

Dylan got up to face the music, walking up behind where Jordie was guarding the barely open door. He put his hand on Jordie’s shoulder, which felt anchoring. 

 

“Hey,” he said to Connor. He knew what he looked like then, messy hair, well-kissed lips, bite mark on his shoulder. He knew what Connor was taking in as he looked at him, then to Jordie, then back, adding it all up. “What’s up?” 

 

Jordie looked at him to check in quick before relieving himself of door duty and going to sit back on the edge of the bed. Far enough away to give Dylan privacy, but still close enough to be comforting. He new Jordie had his back. 

 

“Just wanted to see if you wanted to get a drink. Though I guess you’re busy.” He looked nervous. Dylan hasn’t seen nervous Connor in a long time. Dylan was just used to media-polished Connor. The Connor the rest of the world saw. He wasn't in Connor's inner circle anymore. He wasn't even sure who was. 

 

“Can Jordie come?” Dylan said, and watched as Connor’s face contorted from surprise and disinterest into something much more ‘nice Canadian boy.’

 

“Yeah, of course,” Connor said. Dylan could see what that cost him. He was not proud that he enjoyed it. 

 

“Jordie is staying here and going to bed early,” Jordie called from inside the hotel room. “But you go have fun.”

 

Dylan double checked with Jordie before looking back to Connor. “Yeah, that would be nice. Let me um, put some clothes on and stuff. Give me a minute.” 

 

He shut the door in Connor’s face.

 

“It’ll be fun,” Jordie said, voice low so it wouldn’t carry to the door where Connor was standing. When he saw the look on Dylan’s face, he stood up to kiss him again. “If it sucks, you can leave. Early flight, jealous boyfriend, whatever excuse.” Jordie’s smile was kind, eyes sparkled with fun. 

 

In truth, Dylan just wanted to stay here with Jordie. Find a movie to watch on cable, fall asleep in Jordie’s arms. But he also knew he’d regret not going. He put on some jeans and a plain grey t-shirt and grabbed his wallet and hotel key. 

 

“Good luck,” Jordie said, smoothing Dylan’s messy hair as Dylan headed out the door. 

 

Connor was leaning against the wall across from his room, cell phone in hand. He looked so different than Dylan was used to, his blonde hair getting long and shaggy, his beard finally trimmed a bit. He looked older than he was in Dylan’s mind’s eye. He looked good. 

 

“Thought we could do hotel bar?” Connor said, pulling his plain black baseball cap down low in preparation. It was late, and Dylan followed Connor to a mostly empty bar. They got a table in the back corner, and Connor sat facing away from the door so his face wasn’t on display. Dylan didn’t even understand what that life must be like. They both ordered cheap beer when their waiter came to take their orders. 

 

“It’s good to see you,” Connor said finally. 

 

“You too,” Dylan said. He was a little surprised for it to feel like the truth. 

 

“So, Benn, huh?” Connor teased, and something eased between them. It had been so long since they’d been together. It almost felt like it had been so long since they’d been friends. That line was a little softer. 

 

Dylan couldn’t help the way he blushed, the way he dipped his eyes away from Connor’s gaze. “Yeah, Benn,” he agreed. 

 

“How’d that happen?” His curiosity was genuine and not malicious. Dylan obliged. 

 

“Not even sure. We met at camp, and just...we just clicked. I don’t know how else to explain it. Magnets.” 

 

Connor paused while he looked at him, considered his words. “You like him.” It was a statement, not a question. 

 

“Of course I like him.” 

 

“No, yeah of course you like him. But you know what I mean.” 

 

Dylan did. “I do like him.” Admitting it felt like giving something to Connor. Something small and private. Fucking your teammate wasn’t always more than fucking your teammate. With Jordie, it was way more. 

 

“I’m glad. As long as he’s being good to you.” 

 

Dylan laughed. “He’s better to me than you ever were,” Dylan accused, in good fun. 

 

Connor nodded. They both knew it was true. Dylan and Connor were as good to each other as they could have been, but they had still been teenage boys when they’d been together. 

 

Dylan knew, abstractly, that Connor was seeing someone, but Connor didn’t bring it up and Dylan didn’t push. Instead, they talked a little about Dylan's brother Ryan, and a little about the Otters, who they were both still invested in, probably more than they should be. Dylan watched as they both worked their way through their pints. 

 

When their waiter came back, Dylan declined a second drink. Connor agreed, and their waiter let them know their drinks were on the house, with a wink. 

 

“It’s nice to be recognized by someone who doesn’t hover,” Connor said. “You know?” 

 

Dylan did not know. On the rare occasion he got recognized, no one was like, _excited_ to see him. It was Arizona for god's sake. 

 

Connor walked him back to the elevator. There was a brief awkward moment where Dylan wasn’t sure if Connor was going to hug him before he just pulled Connor into a hug himself. He was used to how tall Connor was, but they didn’t fit together the way they used to when they were kids, both of them with more muscle than they’d had when they were teenagers. 

 

Then Connor pulled his hat back down securely, which looked like a practiced move borne out of habit, his shaggy blonde hair pouring out the back edge of it. He waved a tiny little wave just at his hip, and turned to leave. 

 

Dylan hit the ‘up’ button on the elevator and faced the closed doors to wait. He didn’t watch Connor walk away. 

 

Dylan figured it would probably take a few years for him and Connor to settle into whatever their adult relationship would be. Probably shades of  _ this _ , seeing each other in passing and pretending that they were still friends when they really just...used to be. Not being friends anymore is really what stung for Dylan much more than not being boyfriends anymore. 

 

But he got on the elevator, and with each floor that passed, he was more and more glad to be putting space between him and Connor and closing the distance between him and Jordie. 

 

He could imagine Jordie already, shirtless and tucked into bed, Cops on in the background for some noise as he scrolled Instagram and texted his brother. Dylan felt like every day older he got, the more he appreciated the steadiness of Jordie. Where Dylan’s relationship with Connor had been as dramatic as two teenage boys could make it, and the relationships he’d had in the meantime hadn’t exactly been the portrait of stability, what he had with Jordie felt mature, easy, and predictable in a comforting way. 

 

Dylan had enough shifting under his feet without having to worry about who was in his bed. 

 

He unlocked the door to the hotel room, and there was Jordie, one lamp still on, a Star Wars movie on the TV instead of Cops. He was talking on the phone, but quickly let his brother know he had to go. Maybe some of the details weren’t quite what Dylan was imagining, but it didn’t change the picture. Didn’t change the way his heart felt when Jordie said  _ hey baby _ and slid over in bed a little so Dylan could crawl in next to him. 

 

Dylan shed his clothes quickly, stripping down to just his boxers, and slipped in next to him. 

 

“Go okay?” Jordie whispered, as he reached up to switch the lamp light off. There was still light from the city coming in through the window, the air conditioner switching on to the low hum Dylan was so used to at this point in his life. 

 

“As good as possible,” Dylan said, flipping over so Jordie could spoon up behind him. He felt Jordie tuck his face into the back of Dylan’s neck, and he took a deep, centering breath. “Each time I see him I feel just a bit more closure. I think it’s good.” 

 

“Good. I’m proud of you then.” Jordie just said things like that. That he was proud of Dylan. And each time, it felt sincere, made Dylan feel like at the very least, he had earned that much. Another small piece of respect that Jordie so freely gave to him. 

 

Dylan was usually so consumed with thoughts of his past, worries of his future. But late that night, in the darkness of their hotel room, he let himself have the present. 

**Author's Note:**

> I'm trying out a new thing! It's a tumblr just for my fic! I feel a little weird posting about fic on my main blog, so I've created a new space just for hockey RPF. You can find me [here](https://betsywritesfic.tumblr.com/)! IDK come say hi, follow for fic updates, etc.


End file.
